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A Course in Miracles – The Benefits of a Holy Relationship

A holy relationship is a special way that two people join together in a common purpose beyond the ego. This joining allows the Holy Spirit to enter the relationship and heal it of its erroneous structure.

It can take many forms, including peer relationships (like Helen and Bill), teacher-pupil relationships, psychotherapist-client relationships and more. A Course in Miracles speaks of holy relationships in glowing terms and says that everyone who follows the Course will have one eventually.
A Course in Miracles

Identified by the New York Times as an “esoteric bible that has gone mainstream,” A Course in Miracles (ACIM) is widely considered to be one of the most influential spiritual teachings of the modern age. First published in 1976, ACIM has sold more than three million copies without any advertisement, reaching men and women of all walks of life and every major religion around the globe. It has gained a near-scriptural status among many of its readers, and it has challenged significant elements of traditional Western religious beliefs, including the doctrines of sin and crucifixion.

Its intellectually sophisticated thought system combines spiritual inspiration with deep psychological understanding of such phenomena as belief and defense systems, perception and identity. Its poetic language has led some to compare it with some of the world’s great literature, and its spiritually inspired ideas have made a deep impression on thousands who have studied it closely over the years. In addition to its Text, the Course includes a Workbook for Students, which contains 365 daily lessons, and a Manual for Teachers, which provides answers to questions frequently asked by students.

A central theme of the Course is forgiveness. It teaches that the only way to peace is through the forgiveness of all guilt and fear, which is accomplished by shifting our values from our identification with our separate bodies and the world to a recognition of our shared Oneness with God and each other. The Course calls this shift a miracle.

The Course teaches that the real world, which reflects truth, is loving, constant, eternal and abundant, and that evil, suffering, and guilt are all misperceptions that call for correction and love rather than punishment. It also emphasizes that true happiness is not a state of mind or mood, but a conscious relationship with God.

Although the Course is spiritually oriented, it does not identify itself as philosophically superior to any other teaching, and states that serious study of it should be made alongside any other path. Its challenge to traditional Western religion has earned it both popularity and controversy, especially in conservative Christian circles.
The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is probably the most misunderstood of all the members of the Trinity. He has been described as a force, a ghost and even a second-class god by some. But understanding who He is and how He operates in your life is vital to learning to live in a holy relationship.

When two people join together in a holy relationship, they invite the Holy Spirit to enter. He takes this invitation literally, and His entry makes the joining much bigger and more significant than it first appears. He comes in to heal the relationship on a deep level. This process is often painful, and it is sometimes accompanied by fear and doubt. But eventually, the healing is complete and the relationship becomes so holy that there is no longer a need for fear or doubt.

This kind of joining is unlike the relationships that seem so natural and normal in this world. A holy relationship is trusting, open, honest, loving, free, affectionate and present. It is also nonjudgmental and inclusive. It is happy and peaceful, and it extends and shares. This is a true love, and it is not the lustful, selfish, controlling, competitive, time-based, judgmental and jealous love that seems so common in this world.

In holy relationship, each person is given a gift that is unique to them. It is important to recognize these gifts and use them for the glory of God. These gifts are not used for our own self-gratification, but rather to serve others and bring them the truth about themselves. This is the way we demonstrate our love for God.

The Holy Spirit helps you to recognize the gifts He has given you and to use them for His purpose. He can also help you to remember your own true identity, which is as a child of God. The Holy Spirit is a helper, a comforter and a reminder of Jesus’ teachings.

He is also the guarantor of salvation and the one who bestows miracles upon us. He is our teacher and guide on the journey back to Heaven. He is the embodiment of Christ’s Love.
The Ego

A holy relationship requires two people to abandon their usual self-centered goals and truly join in a purpose that transcends their individual needs. This joining is accomplished in many different ways, but it is characterized by the ability to forgive and love unconditionally. It is also marked by the willingness to take risks and face challenges that would normally make one of them scurry for the hills.

The ego is an important part of the personality because it serves as an integrator of the outside world, inner world, and id and super-ego. It provides continuity and consistency in behavior by linking past experience with current actions and by incorporating projections into the future. The ego can function on conscious, preconscious, and unconscious levels.

While the ego is concerned with minimizing pain and maximizing pleasure, it does not consider right or wrong in its pursuit of these ends. It is more interested in devising a realistic strategy that will achieve the desired results. This can include delaying gratification, compromising, or anything else that will keep the id’s desires in check.

Freud viewed the ego as in a constant struggle to defend itself from three dangers or masters: the outside world, the id’s libido, and the super-ego’s severity. Jung broke with this line of thought and amended the ego concept somewhat, but still viewed it as in a perpetual dialogue with the personal unconscious, which is a repository of memories and traumas unique to each individual, as well as the collective unconscious, which contains the totality of human experiences across cultures and time.

The ego is an essential component of the personality, but it a course in miracles can also be a source of much anxiety and suffering. When you can learn to recognize when the ego is guiding your thoughts and decisions, you can begin to let it go. For example, if you wake up and it is raining and gray, you may think, “What a miserable day!” This is a judgment that does not have any bearing on the reality of the moment. If you can step back from this thought and see it for what it is, it will lose its power over your emotions.
Holy Relationships

A holy relationship is one in which the two partners set aside their usual self-centered goals and truly join in a purpose that transcends their own interests. They are willing to sacrifice their own desires in order to bring healing and peace to the world. This is not easy for any couple, and holy relationships often experience the same discomforts that other close relationships go through at some point – especially when the old structure of the relationship is found to be out of accord with the new goal. But once the change is made, the benefits of a holy relationship are great.

A Course in Miracles teaches that holy relationships can happen between any two people who choose to make them so. They may start as special or loving relationships, and they can also form between teachers and students, counselors and clients, politicians and staff members, or any other pairing of people who share a common purpose. The most important thing to remember is that holy relationships are not defined by bodies, but by a shared attitude of love. These relationships are not permanent, but the shared attitudes that make them so are – and they can last for as long as both parties are willing to keep working at it.

The transition from a special or loving relationship to a holy one is often accelerated by a crisis or tragedy that forces the participants to see their current structure for what it is and take action to make a change. In many cases, the change is prompted by a decision to forgive. This is when the miracles really begin to occur, because forgiveness removes all barriers to a holy relationship.

Even though holy relationships can be uncomfortable and they are not always blissful, they are a necessary step in bringing healing to the world. It is possible to make great progress with A Course in Miracles without ever having a holy relationship, and there is no doubt that all Course students will meet their holy relationship partners eventually. It is part of the plan of God that all who are ready will be brought together, and they will share a holy relationship.